Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
