My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
