FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
