I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
