How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
