i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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