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And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
