WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
