quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Randomize
