Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
