he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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