Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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