was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
