I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
