I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize