I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
