Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
