So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
