If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize