I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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