that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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