Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
