At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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