I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I have feelings that need drinking.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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