Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
