Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
