If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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