Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
