Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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