You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
