You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I am mentally ready for anal.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
