I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just want to make out with him forever
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
