Buhtt sex?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
