Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize