if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
