hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
