When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize