"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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