ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
zippers are such a cool invention
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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