I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
a search helicopter?!
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Randomize
