You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
