But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
