Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
