Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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