I wanna bring you to show and tell
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
