I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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