My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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