Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
