Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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