I'm lost and stupid without you.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
