Cold hands, warm shart.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
