The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
