I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize