i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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