I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
