"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
