Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
