dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
