She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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