I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
