i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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