So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
