I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
they're like a gay fantastic four
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
