No stitches, just platelets and will power
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
