3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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