16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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