I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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