I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He passed out mid-signature
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
