So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
