Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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