my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
