I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
