Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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