My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize