hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
