all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
