I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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