Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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