Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
