i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize