youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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